At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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