drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He passed out mid-signature
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i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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