Porn is love you can see.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize