so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize