I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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