so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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