Yo dont text me then not text me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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