They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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