Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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