On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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