i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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