i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize