this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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