i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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