and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All the doctor said was why
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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