hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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