nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize