So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize