Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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