I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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