Where is the hickey?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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