one two three fourrrrnication!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize