good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
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Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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