I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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