Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize