proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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