small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize