just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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