even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize