My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Come on in and take your pants off
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