so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize