If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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