if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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