he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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