Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize