yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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