you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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