Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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