I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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