spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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