Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They have beer where we have blood.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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