Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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