i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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