my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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