I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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