i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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