wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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