Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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