last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
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This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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