I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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