The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize